Last week I had a great call with a senior staff member of a firm. It was a follow up call to a course we presented entitled Be An ACE: Manage Your Attitude, Credibility & Excellence. The call inspired me because not only did he implement one of his Action Items, he also experienced the positive results of a new discipline of acknowledging his good fortune.

The Results

He talked about what he is doing to adjust his attitude. Not that it was bad, he just didn’t pay much attention to it. He mentioned that he is being more grateful for having a good job in a good firm doing important work and being able to live a comfortable lifestyle. He just never thought about remembering daily how thankful he is for his good fortune. It has made a difference for him.

I adopted this same discipline in college and it has stuck with me for decades. My experience was the same as his, so I decided to take a closer look into what the research says about acknowledging good fortune.

The Evidence

In one paper, there were three experiments conducted by the University of California and Miami University regarding the impact of regularly appreciating blessings and good fortune. In two of the studies, over 200 participants were randomly divided into three groups: one group regularly reflected on their burdens, another group reflected on their blessings, and a third group reflected on neutral conditions. The third experiment only had two groups: a blessings-reflection group and a neutral conditions group.

All of the experiments showed the same finding—there was a significant increase in general wellbeing and life satisfaction for those in the good fortune group. The authors reported “considerably more satisfaction with their lives as a whole, felt more optimism about the upcoming week, and felt more connected with others” compared to the other groups.

This isn’t the only evidence. In addition to these findings, there are a host of other health benefits that other studies reported, such as reduced depression, lessened anxiety, heart health, reduced stress and improved sleep. These results have been replicated for decades.

Your Decision

It’s hard to believe that regularly practicing a simple, easy discipline as acknowledging gratitude can have such an impact. And it’s even harder to believe that so many have chosen not to practice this discipline.

Those who realize that their attitude is an internal state in their control and not a result of their external world that they have no control over may be more likely to adopt this simple discipline. Which are you? And what will you do to acknowledge your good fortune?

The post Acknowledge Your Good Fortune appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

We’ve heard a lot about learning to say no, and rightly so, because we often say yes too much and take on too many responsibilities. It is no fun. However, that said, the real issue just might be that we’ve never learned to say yes effectively.

Remember, every yes has a cost. Minimally, it’s our time and energy; but also exacts from us our priority and focus. What happens when our time, energy and resources are overdrawn? We become overburdened, overwhelmed, which leads to stress and anxiety. Yep, your yeses are a cause of much of your stress.

Considerations of Yes

So how should you account for your yeses? Before you say yes, consider the following:

Capacity Constraints. When something new comes along, think about everything you’ve already committed to, including personal and work-related obligations. What constraints do you face, like tight due dates, conflicting priorities, and other shifting responsibilities? Unfortunately, adopting a FIFO (first in/first out) approach is seldom applicable. Before you say yes, discuss it first with your manager or partner, even if it’s only to let them know of your situation.

Expectations and Reliance. Saying yes creates expectations in others. People are relying on you to follow through. Are you at risk of letting them down? This includes not just clients, partners, or managers, but also your significant other, children, family, and friends.

Neuropsychology has taught us that the negative impact on others when we don’t meet an expectation is much greater and lasts longer than their satisfaction when we meet an expectation. This explains why missed expectations are much more significant and remembered than the times we come through.

Commit to Yes

Is it time for you to better account for your yeses? After all, you have to protect your reputation. Learn to say yes so that you can make good on ALL of them. Everyone is depending on you.

The post Account For Your Yeses appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

This is a very common (and false) assumption that people make all the time. We had a good conversation about how important it would be to position himself to be considered for his aspiration—promotion. He should be more involved in the whole process rather than leaving his aspirations to others.

There are some effective ways to position yourself. None of them is a silver bullet that will guarantee your aspiration. But collectively, they get the attention of your decision makers. Breaking through your assumption that they will just see how good you are is a mistake made by too many disappointed aspirants. Here are few ideas to consider.

1. Let your intentions be known. Don’t assume your leaders know your aspirations. You have to tell them. If you don’t tell them clearly, they will make their own assumptions that you are fine where you are—a good, dependable worker who makes their lives easier.
2. DO NOT ask for feedback. You probably won’t get the frank input that you are looking for. If you do get honest feedback, it will likely be comments about your work, not information about what they are looking for to promote you.
3. Identify the gaps. Instead of feedback, ask them about any gaps they see in you and your performance. Since you haven’t achieved your aspiration yet, they know what you lack. You are more likely to get good information about what they are looking for but aren’t seeing. This is the information you need, especially when their perceptions differ from yours.
4. Commit to your supervisor that you intend to fill those gaps in order to be considered for whatever your aspiration is. Ask them for help and guidance. Continue the conversation over the weeks and months. Keep your aspiration in the forefront.

Firms today need solid leadership talent. If you aspire to be in a leadership position, you have to tell them. Otherwise, you leave your career aspirations to unpredictable chance and unfounded hope.

The post You Have To Tell Them appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

Up to 40% of the actions we take are by conscious decision. That means that, for most of our day, we function on autopilot. Since we all have habits that need to be adjusted or changed, we would benefit from correcting the habits that are automatic.

Auto Habits

It’s hard to believe that most our daily activity is driven by our automatic habits—actions we have adopted over the months and years. Some of them are good, like brushing your teeth or saying thank you.

However, there are a number of habits that have developed over the years that should be questioned. For instance, work habits might include an inconsistent start time for your day, eating lunch at your desk, or allowing distractions to take you away of the work at hand. Personal habits might include your snack choices that are bad for you, not hydrating throughout the day, or avoiding a daily walk. Changing your autopilot habits is rarely easy, but necessary.

Change Auto Habits

We are often told that in order to change, we need to have more self-control. And when we fail, it is because we aren’t disciplined enough. However, there may be more to making changes in our lives than sheer self-control.

More recent research suggests that that putting ourselves in the right situations is more important than gathering enough discipline to do something differently. It makes sense. As an example, if you are restricting your food or beverage intake, you shouldn’t watch the game at the local tavern.

This technique of creating situations for change may be more important than mustering up enough self-control to make changes. If you turn your phone off and out of sight, you are less likely to be distracted by it. If you have a water bottle at your desk, you are more likely to hydrate instead of snacking. If you have a habit of saying yes too quickly to requests, you would benefit by developing a habit of delaying a response for an hour or a day to get a better perspective.

Your Auto Habits

You know automatic habits you have that you have accumulated over the years. Which ones would you benefit from changing in some way to increase your professionalism and your satisfaction with yourself and your work? You deserve the best and your auto-habits are one way to get there.

The post Habits That Are Automatic appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

As you come out of recovery from any intense period (aka busy season), you enter into a season that may be less intense, but still full of activities and responsibilities. Will you enjoy the journey?

Journey Past

For the next four months, you have annual or semi-annual reviews, continuing education opportunities, colleague and client connections and other firm responsibilities. In addition, you have a full personal life—family vacations, personal interests and other activities that beckon your time and energy.

You have a lot going on, don’t you? If you aren’t careful, you will look up and the summer will be over and wonder where the weeks went. Holy smokes!

Journey Present

To protect yourself from this unfortunate demise, there is a popular phrase that really captures it all.

Simply—enjoy the journey. Yes, it’s that simple.

But I’m not the one to write about it. You see, I have an affliction, described in a phrase coined by Phillip Berry, entrepreneur and author. He called it being “arrival-driven.” That’s me. Haahh, is it ever me. He wrote,

“One might argue that we are arrival-driven, that it’s all about getting where we want to go. We’re impatient for completion. Give me my destination so I can begin to enjoy it. I suppose that’s how it is with any goal. Whether it’s time, money, or personal sacrifice, the price we pay is along the way. The payback happens at the end, when we’ve finally arrived.”

I’ve spent the better part of my adult life trying to moderate this affliction. And I’ve made great strides. But every so often, I can still get focused on the end that I forget to enjoy the time and effort—the journey—to get there. I get impatient, frustrated, even fearful that I won’t arrive or accomplish. It only tenses me up so that I stress and fret all the more. Grasping more tightly, I grit and grind to the point that I’m a hot mess with a sore jaw and pounding headache.

But most of the time now, I remember…

Enjoy the journey. Take a breath, calm down, and experience the present moment.

Journey Next

As you enter into this next season, remember to enjoy your journey. You know your own tendencies and what you must do.  You have a few months. It starts now. What can you do today? This week? This month?

Whatever you do, enjoy the journey.

The post Enjoy The Journey appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

If you haven’t looked up lately, you may not realize that you are in the midst of National Stress Awareness Month. How appropriate. Being a high-performer, you are no stranger to long hours, a heavy workload and looming due dates, that can add up to increased pressure and exhaustion. They named a month for you!

The Message

About 18 months ago, we wrote a Message that emphasized the importance of cooling down after an intense period, similar to what athletes do after a workout or event. Professional competitors know that cooling down slowly after a grueling experience is necessary to bounce back. In fact, it is viewed as the last phase of the race or event. If you missed it, you can read it here.

Like athletes, you must learn how to quickly recover from difficulty, overwhelm or intensity. This skill, known as resilience – or the capacity to bounce back from stress and adversity – can help you better cope with whatever challenges that work throws at you. Much has been espoused about developing resilience; and rightly so. It is what allows you to recover and continue in the profession.

The Necessity

One essential aspect of strengthening resilience is recovery. It is a necessity when developing mental toughness. There are times when you have to power through exhaustion, as you well know. But don’t dismiss the need for recovery. Make your cool down routine the last phase of your busy season, not the due date.

Your Routine

Since your “event” has ended and you are entering into the last phase of your busy season cycle, what is your cool down routine? How do you intend to recover? Have you planned how to recuperate in healthy ways? From the Message mentioned above, make sure you are recovering in ways that build your resilience. Don’t enter your cool-down period willy nilly, no more than professional athletes leave their cooldown routine to chance. Make it the last phase of any busy period.

The post The Last Phase appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

When considering professional athletes, it’s evident that each of them prepares differently depending on their sport. However, there’s a common element among them—they all prepare for the end of their game or race. For instance, American football teams practice a 2-minute drill, while runners mentally prepare themselves for the final mile. Regardless of the sport, professionals recognize the significance of the endgame, as it sets them apart from their competitors.

Your Profession

Does this principle resonate with you in your work? Have you prepared for the concluding phase of your season? It’s a known fact that professionals thrive by finishing strong.

Lauren Fleshman, an acclaimed author and one of America’s most decorated distance runners, shared her insights in her article titled “Mentally Prepare For the Last Mile of the Race.” Her recommendations for preparing for the end of the race are both mental and behavioral aspects. Here are some of her points that have been reworked to apply to our profession.

Your Work

Own it.  Be intentional with the final stretch. The goal is not just to get to the end because it will arrive regardless. It is tempting to simply succumb to being overwhelmed and take on a survival mindset—just let me get through this. But professionals focus on how they will get there—they refuse to be controlled by the last mile. Instead, professionals take control of it and own it.

Prioritize. Identify the work that demands attention and allocate time effectively. You know what has to be done. You work as a team, so plan as a team so everyone knows and stays on point. Organize, monitor and communicate so that the entire team is in sync with the priorities.

Focus: Avoid distractions. You know what they are—anything that takes you or your team away from what is important. You’ve set your priorities, now stay with the matters at hand.

Your Challenge

As a professional, you must take control of your last mile. Use these lessons from other professionals and apply them these remaining days. You have had a long season and you deserve to finish well. Like other professionals, finish strong.

The post Professionals Finish Strong appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

International Day of Happiness came and went on March 20. Did you celebrate? Or were you too busy? Or worse, did you miss it altogether? I’m assuming that you, like most, were unaware of it. Since everyone wants to be happy, let’s revisit Happiness Day and see if we can ratchet up your happiness a bit.

The Survey

Two weeks ago, the 2024 World Happiness Report was released. It ranks countries on the overall happiness of its citizens, conducted with a representative sample of each country’s population.

While overall happiness in America has dipped a bit, one of the surprises of this survey is that Americans over age 60 are significantly happier (ranked 10^th globally) than Americans under age 30 (ranked 62^nd globally). This is contrary to so many younger people around the world, who report being significantly happier than their American counterparts.

One conclusion might suggest that Americans have to work hard, sacrifice, and pay their dues in hopes that one day they might be happy. This would be a false conclusion because it’s just the opposite.

The Research

The research conducted by Dr. Ed Diener  discovered that those who found happiness earlier in life were the ones who experienced happy, successful careers and relationships. And he found that, without exception, the happiest people are ones who give back and contribute to others. Acts of kindness, volunteering and donating to causes are examples he cited.

In addition to giving back, a second factor that cultivates happiness is a social network. Your sense of happiness, or subjective wellbeing, is largely based on your assessment of your relationships. Do you have one that is supportive? This is why connecting with others in meaningful ways matters a lot. Managers are realizing the value (and difficulty) of connecting with their virtual direct reports. Work relationships have an impact on the quality of work, overall engagement and mental health of their staff.

Your Responsibility

There are other factors that you already know about, like taking care of yourself, developing appropriate routines and practices and maintaining a positive attitude. So, rather than waiting for another year to recognize the Day of Happiness, let’s remember the importance of developing a happiness disposition as early as possible by strengthening healthy relationships.

The post Everyone Wants To Be Happy appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

All professionals encounter stress when life is the busiest and most compressed. As those seasons progress, it is easy to feel less and less in control. A large workload, uncooperative clients, under-performing staff, and looming due dates only exasperate the situation. By the time the season is over, major recovery is needed. Mostly because we don’t take control.

The Effects

Feeling out of control generates a stress response. Cortisol hypes you up and doesn’t let up. Extended cortisol release without relief causes a host of physical and mental ailments. But when we take control, cortisol reduces because we aren’t in a fight or flight mode, so we feel better, act with more confidence and exercise better judgment.

The Strategies

This is another reason to keep your act together throughout your season. That’s why we make every effort to in optimal control, in the midst of so many “uncontrollables.” These strategies you already know about and use. Maybe you can assess how well you are using them.

1. Let Go. Feeling like you have to be in control is a cognitive distortion. Total control is an illusion that you will never attain. Give yourself permission to function in situations in which you have less control.
2. Get organized. When you make the effort to sort your week and your work, it relieves feeling out of control. It is stress-inducing to enter into situations feeling disorganized. Take the time to regularly organize and reorganize as needed.
3. Plan and prepare. As much as you can, be diligent to get the information and skills you need to do the work. You frustrate yourself when you expect to get your work done without having the necessary resources. Go the extra mile to get what you need, for your sake.
4. Assess priorities. Things change. What you expected to accomplish this week will change a time or two. As Stephen Covey said, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”
5. Remaining flexible with your time and priorities is paramount. Relax and make the necessary adjustments that will keep you focused on the right things right now. Mental flexibility is fairly mandatory in this profession.
6. Being clear with others is helpful because you aren’t pressured by their unspoken expectations and assumptions. Misunderstandings are very stressful to those who are conscientious about their work. Make an effort to consistently communicate.

Your Commitment

As I already noted, you use of all these strategies to a degree. They are proven practices that will help you gain a sense of control over your life and your work. But which one should you pay more attention to that may be lagging? You know what you need to get a better grip. Take a moment and commit to doing one thing that will help you take control. Now. For your sake.

The post Take Control appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.

As you may have already seen, last week Gallop released the results of their 2023 Engagement Survey, entitled, The New Challenge of Engaging Younger Workers. It highlights the need for convenience and connections in the workplace.

The Findings

One of the findings is that, among the majority of staff, seniors and managers, engagement is decreasing and disengagement is increasing, since the Covid era. “[T]he percentage of engaged Gen X employees (born between 1965 and 1979) has declined by four points, from 35% to 31%, while the percentage of actively disengaged Gen X employees has increased by one point, from 17% to 18%.

But the most dramatic decline in engagement has occurred among younger generations, especially the older group of millennials (born between 1980 and 1988). The percentage of engaged older millennials has declined by seven points, from 39% to 32%, while the percentage of actively disengaged older millennials has increased by five points, from 12% to 17%.

The younger group of millennial and Gen Z employees (born 1989 or later) have experienced a five-point decline in engagement, from 40% to 35%, while the percentage of actively disengaged employees has increased by one point, from 13% to 14%.”

This is going in the wrong direction. What could be the driver for this decline in engagement?

The Driver

This trend reminded me of a statement made by Michael Ungar, a social science researcher and professor, who wrote about the disengaged, “They need the social interaction of the office but don’t know they do. They find working from home easy and convenient, but the resulting malaise is never connected to their lack of relationships, routines, and responsibilities that come when people work side by side.”

We are human beings who need social interaction. We enjoy living with our families and friends, dreaming of the future and accepting the current inconveniences of the moment because we are connected. If you don’t have the social connections with others in your firm, there is not much to be shared and you are left with the inconveniences of the moment. It’s no wonder that disengagement is increasing.

There is a reason why so many companies have recently instituted policies that account for the human need for social interaction. Companies like Starbucks, General Motors, Disney, Walmart, Dell,  and Amazon.

The Responsibility

At some point, we have to accept our human-ness. This is your opportunity to be personally responsible and take action on what you need to be your better self—not just what is easiest or most convenient. Not only that, look beyond yourself and realize that you are a part of the social fabric that others need.

Everyone is different and has different needs and situations. But if you feel stressed, burned out or just don’t care very much, don’t assume it is because of your firm, your manager or your profession. Maybe another consideration might be finding the right balance of convenience and connections. As a talented professional, you owe it to yourself. Go for it.

The post Convenience AND Connection appeared first on Partners Coach by Guy Gage.